You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
