her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
