This is not my ceiling
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
