you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
