I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
