He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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