The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
