i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
