Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
