no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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