Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
