I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
