I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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