just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize