The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize