The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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