if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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