I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
