you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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