dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
