sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
