i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I skipped work to stalk him.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
