There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
