the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
