Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
