So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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