i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
thus making me awesome and them whores
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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