what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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