so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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