Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
