Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize