Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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