He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
