I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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