direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
