it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
