The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
