are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
