Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize