just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
