4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
