out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
