DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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