So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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