Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize