I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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