i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
