I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
