and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
