No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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