I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dicks are not precious.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
