yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
