He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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