I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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