should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
