at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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