I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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