you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
