dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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