He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
