My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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