Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
