4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
